Vol 89 When life sucks, it sucks hard!

I'll just out with it.

I killed my laptop.

I am in the habit of simply closing the lid when I go to bed. Not taking the extra 20 seconds to shut it down. I awoke last weekend to find that one of my air conditioners had peed all over my desk. Mostly on my laptop. When I opened it there was a puddle in the keyboard. No friendly little green lights. I turned it on it's side and a cup of water poured out.

I panicked for a little bit. Seriously. Then I called Lane on what was left of my calling card. I quickly told him the situation and asked him to quickly tell me if it was ok before my calling call died. "It's dead" he said. "You might recover your hardrive but your laptop is toast".

I started crying, he comforted me.

One of our investors at work owns a computer business so I gave it to him the next day. He has confirmed that it's dead and agrees the hardrive is probably allright. His guys are going to try to turn my internal hardrive into an external hardrive so I can access all my files.

All of my photos from 2008 are on it. The book I've been working on is on it.

Sigh.

So, much as I would like to finish the India blog and show off all the great Hindu wedding photos I got, I cannot.

Back when I can,

Susan

Vol 88 India Part 4

Hope you like henna.......

Priyanka and I returned to her family's house/hotel in the morning to find that the mendi (henna) artist had arrived and was already at work.

There were women everywhere. In the most beautful sari's.


The living room was always filled with women. The lady in the middle is the henna artist. She was so good!

Here's the first cousin done.

Detail of palm side.

And the back side.

Here I am with the bride and one of her nephews. Her name is Ankita but everyone calls her Sweetie. And she is a sweetie.

Here she is again, with more of the nephews.

It was all little boys in this family until this little angel came along.

Shortly after we arrived breakfast was served. Everyone was always served a plate of food where ever they happened to be at meal time. As I ate, women would come and refill the things I had finished. If you ever have a chance to eat Indian breakfast, take it. Flat rice, jelabi, and a crispy stuffed bread. Wow good.

All day long Aunties and cousins and sisters came and went and each of them got mendhi on their hands in preparation for the wedding the next day.

The henna artist drew the main outlines then Priyanka filled it in with detail work. (Remember, Priya's an artist).

A really good artist. Palm side....

Back side. So pretty.

Priyanka's sister's hands. Palm side.

Back side.

While this was going on family and staff were hard at work on lunch. I was not allowed to help. :(

This and the next one are my favorite photos from the whole trip. Click on them to blow them up. I just loved her and the light.

I just LOVE this photo!

Lunch was incredible again. Rice, dal, aloo ghobi (potato and cauliflower curry), paneer korma (Indian cheese cubes in a creamy tomato curry sauce), roti (Indian flat bread), raita (yogurt salad), raw tomatoes, cucumbers and carrots. Oh my was it good.

After lunch someone went out to a paanwalla and brought home a bunch of paan for everyone. I had never tried it so they insisted.

What is paan? I shall quote Wikipedia"

"Paan, from the word pan in Hindi پان and some other related languages, हिन्दी : पान ), is a South and South East Asian tradition which consists of chewing Betel leaf (Piper betle) combined with the areca nut. There are many regional variations.

Paan is chewed as a palate cleanser and a breath freshener. It is also commonly offered to guests and visitors as a sign of hospitality and as "ice breaker" to start conversation. It also has a symbolic value at ceremonies and cultural events in South and Southeast Asia. Paan makers may use mukhwas or tobacco as an ingredient in their paan fillings. Although most types of paan contain areca nuts as a filling, some do not. Other types include what is called sweet paan, where sugar, candied fruit and fennel seeds are used."

Ok, the paan they bought for me was betel nut, tobacco, ground fennel seed, sugar syrup and rose petals. I bit into it and I swear to God it was like eating an incense stick. The overpowering flavor was rose. It was like a mouthful of sweet rose perfume. Ya know, I pride myself on having an adventurous palate. As long as there is no meat in something I usually like it. I did not like paan. They all watched me as I tried to chew that first bite. Then I stopped and said "I'm sorry, I just don't like it". They all laughed and told me to spit it out. Which I happily did.

More beautiful mendhi. Palm side.

Back side.

And then it was my turn!

After the henna paste is applied you must keep it on for 2 hours. There was a bowl of lemon juice and sugar with a tiny sponge that all the ladies were constantly rewetting their mendhi with. If you keep it moist it doesn't crack and fall off. It's important to keep it on for at least 2 hours to ensure a dark color.

After it is scraped off it looked like this. Vick vapor rub was applied and I was told not to wash my hands for at least 6 hours. Try that sometime. Try using a toilet and then not washing your hands. The longer you go without washing your hands the darker the mendhi will be.

Snacks broke out. Samosa's. Ridiculously good samosa's. Milk sweets, milk tea with ginger and a crispy cardamom, grape sweet that was quite good. Then ice cream. Sigh.

I wrote in my travel journal (thank you again, Leanne) "I think I died and went to vegetarian heaven".

All the "ladies" got mendhi. They explained to me that when you look at your hands in the weeks after the wedding and you see the mendhi, you should think of the bride.

Sweeties turn! That's her best friend sitting to her right.

It took hours to do Sweeties mendhi. She told me she felt blessed to have me at her wedding. Imagine! I was so grateful to be there and she felt blessed? I felt blessed! Not just to be allowed into this family's home but to be welcomed. I could not have felt more blessed and grateful. To be surrounded by so much love made me realize how ready I am to find my own man to love.

The results were stunning. Click on them to see the detail. Palm side

Back side.

The garden of the house/hotel. So pretty.

The porch.

Mother of the bride getting her mendhi.

Palm side.

Back side. It's so pretty!

The bride's feet are also decorated.

Tradition say the darker her mendhi gets the more her husband loves her. So she was being very careful. The mother of the groom would be judging her mendhi at the wedding so it was important not to mess it up.

While her feet were being done her friends were teasing her. That is her fiance's photo. Theirs is a love match, unusual in this family. They met at work.

Finished.

Priyanka was the very last to have hers done. She couldn't do hers until she and the artist had completed everyone else's.

I gave her grief about being shy for a photo so she immediately dropped her shyness with this pose.

Her palms.


Could she be more lovely? And she is. She is truly lovely.

Of all the Aunties running around in the house this was my very favorite. Super sweet.



Once the mendhi was done some napping broke out. I napped.

Then it was off to dinner. One of Priyanka's cousin's was having their 1st wedding anniversary party and even though it was important to stay home to be with her family, it was also important to celebrate with her cousin. She and one of her sisters decided we should go have dinner with the cousin and her husband. A bunch of us piled into 2 cars and went to a really nice Italian restaurant.

The decor was very tasteful and elegant. The food was a set menu for the anniversary party and was scrumptious. Vegetarian again :) An interesting combination of Italian and Indian. Minestrone soup with lemon juice and chili etc. Being a couchsurfer sure takes me to places I would never have experienced otherwise.

We stayed as short a time as we could without being rude, then raced home.

And dancing broke out! Yay!

I was happy to watch from the side lines, hiding behind my camera.

Then they started playing the soundtrack form the Bollywood movie "Om, Shanti, Om". This is my very favorite Bollywood movie as it was the first one I ever saw. My friend Katie and I went to see it at the theater last winter when it first came out. I've seen a bunch of Hindi movies since then but "Om, Shanti, Om" is the best by far.

And it has a really catchy soundtrack. I couldn't help it, I started bouncing and next thing I knew Priya's brother had grabbed the camera from me.....

..... and I was a dancing fool. And I mean fool. I really can't dance to Hindi music so I looked a bit silly.

Her brother tried to take a photo of me and I got shy. Piyanka was standing beside me and said "Unh, uh! If I had to let you take my photo, you have to let him take yours!"

She was right! About this photo she said "Here you can see your beauty, your joy". Smart cookie.

One of the things that struck me was how nice everyone was. Just nice, nice people. I wondered if that is what it is like when a stranger is invited into our family. I think we are all nice, nice people too. That thought made me happy.

Then Priya did a solo dance. Lovely.

Next her cousin took a turn. She is a really good dancer too. Then Priya's sister took a turn.

Then it was a dance party until we were all too tired to dance more.



Everyone slept there that night. some in the hotel rooms and Priya and her kids and some other female relatives slept in the family room.

We were all excited because tomorrow was wedding day!

(I cheated, by the way- I washed my hands.)

Vol 87 India Part 3

Here I am with Cindy and her sister in the middle and my hostess Anu on the left. After breakfast I called my next couchsurfer and asked her if it was too soon for me to come stay with her. She said "No way! Come on over!" So I said my goodbyes to Sanjay and Anu and my fellow CSers and hopped in an auto rickshaw.

Here's more photos from the auto rickshaw.

Crappy crap everywhere.


I like this one.

Dental office.

Garbage bins.

Here's something I saw a lot of. People living on the sidewalk in makeshift tents. The slightly luckier people get to live in a slum. Sorry no slum photos.

Imagine! Living in a tent on a sidewalk.

This photo has a sidewalk tent and the next thing I want to talk about. How much weight can be hauled on a cart or rickshaw or bike. Look at the size of the load that poor little donkey has to carry!

Bunches of handmade brooms on a scooter.


This was the worst case I saw of hauling too much. These are bicycle rickshaws, 3 of them , and they are each loaded down with God knows what. The guy in front has 5 bundles and the 2 behind him have 4 each. They were struggling to pedal.

One-legged rickshaw driver.

Napping rickshaw driver. By the way, I cannot ride in a bicycle rickshaw because my legs are too long. I simply cannot get into the seat. Funny, huh?

This guy was picking recyclables out of garbage bins.

Women is saris ride side saddle on scooters. I did this with Priyanka, my next CSing host, one day when I was wearing a skirt.


From the back seat of an auto-rickshaw.

I arrived at my next hosts place and was I ever happy. Priyanka was wonderful. So lovely and kind. Her husband came home with their older boy, Dhruv. Very nice guy. They fed me samosa's and juice then invited me to have a nap.

Here is Priyanka with the younger of her two sons, Arjun. I showed Priya the fabric I had bought and she took me to her tailor nearby to have it stitched into a traditional salwar suit. That's not it.

On our way out we came across this dude in the parking lot. He is re-tinning pots. Wacky. When a pan gets old and thin they re-tin it instead of throwing it away.

We went to Priyanka's family home, which happens to be a hotel. There were quite a few people there when we arrived and more arriving constantly. You see, this was a big week for the family. Their youngest daughter, Priyanka's sister was getting married!

No, I'm not kidding. I got invited to stay with a Hindu family in India the week of their daughters wedding. I was Priyanka's first CouchSurfing guest and I felt so honored to be invited to the wedding. Again, imagine! Would we invite a stranger to stay with us the week of a family wedding? I was nothing but grateful and happy the whole time I was with them.

As an added bonus, this was a vegetarian family. Again, not kidding. I thought I'd died and gone to vegetarian heaven. It was a a giant Indian, veg food fest. And they loved me because I ate and loved everything. A western woman who loves spicy Indian food.

Shortly after we arrived lunch was served. Dal, veg masala (curry) and roti. Unbelievably good. Wow good.

The only down side was I was not allowed to help. They have a staff of older women and young guys who do the cooking, under the supervision of Priyanka (the eldest of the 4 daughters, and so the one with the most family responsibilities) and her mother.

Here is one of the house maids in the tiny kitchen.

And another. This one is rolling roti, an Indian flat bread.

She cooks them over an open flame.

Priyanka is a talented artist. Her paintings were all over the hotel/house. This was my favorite. The hotel was closed to guests as they needed all the rooms for the family arriving from out of Jaipur.

This is Prithy, one of Priyanka's sisters, with her son asleep on her lap. They sit on the floor alot.

After lunch Priyanka and one of her Aunts and I went to do some quick gift shopping. They were looking for baby clothes (the 3d sister had recently had a baby girl) and I was looking for a wedding gift. I asked their advise and they steered me towards blankets so I bought a nice bed set. Sorry, no photos from the shopping excursion.

When we returned home it was time for tea with sweets. Indian milk tea has become a big favorite since I arrived in Oman. It's Lipton tea with condensed milk and sugar. Sweet and creamy and good. Indian sweets are quite different to western sweets and I dare not try to describe them other than to say they are often made with milk and something of an acquired taste. Luckily, I had already acquired the taste for them living here, where the Indian population is so great that we have Indian restaurants on every corner.

Then it was time for dinner. Potato masala, veg masala and roti served with a mango pickle to die for. So good.

Every Hindu house has an altar of sorts. Here's some of the little boys eating dinner while facing the altar room.

Couldn't decide if I liked the photo that showed the room better or the boys better.

After dinner we went outside and the women started singing songs to Sweetie, the bride, to tease her. She's the one in the back with the flower on her sleeve and the green scarf. That's the Mom on the left. She led the singing and played the drum.

The older ladies sat on chairs.

The men watched. That's the Dad in the back.

We headed back to Priya's apartment where I had a chance to talk to her about what her life is like, as a woman, in India. Women are encouraged to educate themselves now and then work, but once they marry they are expected to stop working and take a more traditional role in life. Priya and her 3 sisters were all well educated and successful before marriage. But Priya and her 2 married sisters were frustrated and bored with being "just a housewife". Sweetie's fiance had told her she can continue to work after they're married. Theirs was not an arranged marriage, as is the norm, but a love match. They met at work. An exception was made in allowing them to marry.

Priya and her husband gave up their bedroom for me, sleeping with their sons in the other room. I was able to log into Messenger on their laptop before going to bed so I got to chat with Mom across the world. Gotta love that internet!



The days video. There aren't many family photos of this day as I was trying not to be an obnoxious Westerner in the house. Priya's family had disapproved of her joining CouchSurfing so I had to win them over before I could stick a camera in their faces.

That all changed the next day.....