Vol 84 I Was Kidnapped by a Chinese/Arabian CouchSurfer

Let me tell you a little story.

I have not had internet at my apartment for about 3 weeks now. Every morning I ask the building guy "Internet?" and every morning he replies in broken English "Whole building. Bukrah inshallah". The literal translation of bukrah inshallah is "tomorrow, god willing" but the actual translation around here is "I have no idea when, maybe never".

This whole no internet thing has really cramped my style. Turns out, I'm addicted to the internet. I was lost without it, which was a bit alarming. I'm not supposed to use the internet at work for anything other than business and I respect that so I stayed away from hotmail, messenger and couchsurfing.

I got bored. I watched movies on my laptop. Then Angie arrived. Angie is a Scottish couchsurfer who lives in Australia. She was the first person I ever hosted, I think, back in November. She's great. Last time she was here we went hiking at wadi bani awf. There's a blog about it if you want to refresh your memory. The DSL line in my apartment was still sort of sometimes working for her first couple of days here. My sister tried to say Hi to me on Messenger one day when I was in the shower and racing for work. Angie told Michele I was not available.

Angie was here about a week and a half. It was pretty great. I took 3 days off and we went on a grand road trip. Perhaps I will write about it later.

Then she left and I was back to being bored. Back to watching movies on my laptop. I wasn't replying to anyone's emails.

Last week my Mom called me. I was at work but I happened to be near my cell phone. She said she hadn't seen me online on Messenger for a while. I told her my internet was down. She said "Oh" and I assumed she'd want to hang up, it being a long distance call to the Middle East and all. I told her I loved her and we said goodbye.

4 days later I got a call from my sister.
"Hello" I said.
"Hi, who's this?" she said.
"It's Susan, who's this?"
"It's Michele"
"Hey Michele, what's up, Buttercup?"
"Susan" she say's, "it's Mom".
Now seriously, with an opening like that I thought she was about to tell me that Mom was dead or in the hospital or something. "What about her?"
"She had a panic attack last night. She thinks you've been kidnapped by a couchsurfer or something".

I'm not shitting you. That's what she said. "What the......."

"She has been worried that she hasn't seen you online and she knows you haven't logged into couchsurfing"
"But I spoke to her a few days ago! She called me!" I said.
"I know, I know" she replied "but she thought it didn't sound like you. She tried calling you again yesterday and she says someone speaking what sounded like Chinese answered".
"Ummmm......ok......"
"Susan, she woke up this morning having a panic attack. She asked me to call you. I'm here with one of my Arabic speaking friends in case whoever answered could only speak Arabic"
"Ummmmm.........ok.........."

Honestly, how could I not laugh? I've been working my ass off at work, wracking up the overtime because we are short staffed right now, spending my nights watching movies on my laptop and they are sitting at home thinking I've been kidnapped by a Chinese/Arabian couchsurfer? Seriously????

"How do you know you're really talking to me now?" I asked her.
"Ha ha" she said. "Because I 'm talking to you. I can hear it's you"
"What if it's not me?"
"What's the name you call me as kids?" she asked.
"Poophead" I replied, knowing that wasn't it.
"Ha ha" she said "Come on, what was it?"
"Pretty sure I called you Poophead" I wanted to see if she seriously doubted it was me.
"You Goof......"
"I don't know, Michbushka, I'm pretty sure I called you Poophead"
I could hear her relax.

We hung up shortly and I sat there thinking "what the hell was that?" My sister has been here, she knows how safe it is. Kidnapped by a couchsurfer?

I got a text message from my Mom about 30 minutes later saying she was glad I was ok, that I am precious to her. I didn't know I could even get a text message from Canada. When I first got my phone here I tried saying Hi to a couple of friends back home and I got no reply so I assumed that meant I couldn't send texts home. I replied to her. And she replied back. Turns out it does work. So why didn't she just do that when she first started to worry about me?

Silly Mommie. Sorry to poke fun at you, but I will be snickering over this one for a while. Kidnapped by a Chinese/Arabian couchsurfer. Seriously.