Katie is Canadian, like me, so you know she rocks! She is a total sweetie and she speaks Arabic. Very handy indeed. Her husband works at the US embassy and one of the women that he works with invited Katie to this wedding.We dressed up as best we could, considering neither one of us brought fancy clothes to Oman. Dress pants, nice tops. We arrived around 10:30pm to discover it was an all woman affair. Big ballroom full of women. We were the only western women there. And the only women in pants. I keep seeing fancy dresses in stores here and was curious where the women wear them. Now I know; it’s weddings. These women were dressed like they were going to a very fancy prom. Or the Oscars. Photos are forbidden except by the official (female) photographer. Katie and I asked a few women if I could take their picture but they all said their husbands would object. Perhaps because they weren’t wearing an abaya or head scarf? Actually, half the women there were in black abayas and head scarves and the other half, the younger women, were in the fancy dresses.
So, of course, I snuck a photo. This is after the bride arrived, about an hour after we got there. Not a great photo, but you get the idea? Most of the younger women in the dresses are near the front. The bride is on the stage on a little metal sofa. The photographer is in an abaya and is standing in front of her.
About these dresses; the only rule the designers seem to follow is “more is better”. More color. More sequins. More beads. More patterns. More types of fabric. More flounces. And, inexplicitly, more feathers.
I took these photos at various dress shops. More, more, more. Of course, I love these dresses. They appeal to the little girl in me who likes to play dress-up. AND, I must mention, the women at the wedding who wore these foofs of silk and sequins also wore a TON of make-up. Peacock-bright eye shadows, crazy-thick black eyeliner, and black, black eyebrows. And many of them had their hair put up professionally.
Leopard print is big. Really big.
When I was taking these photos a sales lady insisted I try some on. Wheeeeeee! Try to ignore the bad hair day and lack of glamorous make-up...... How much? $325 US for the pink one. $450 for the heavily beaded yellow one.
When we arrived at the wedding we were ushered to the very front, to the left of the stage. Yikes! It was like being put in the front pew at a wedding where you don’t know the bride or the groom. We sat on the floor on Persian carpets surrounded by our hostess’ family. There was a woman sitting on cushion on the left wall near the front and she had a microphone. She hit the mike with her hand rhythmically while singing Islamic songs of celebration. The women there joined in with clapping and singing. There were so many women there! And they were welcoming. We stuck out so bad!
After we had been there about ½ hour they passed out little foil to-go boxes with snacks. A bite-sized pizza, a bite-sized cheese roll, a skewer of mystery meat in a pita, a mystery meat filo triangle and a tiny baklava. And baskets of mini sodas and waters went around. The bride arrived around 11:30pm wearing a traditional white, western style dress with tons of beading and sequins. She walked sooooooooo slowly to the stage. The photographer took pictures all night, first just of her, then with her family members, one or two at a time. All the while the woman with the mike was droning on and women were singing and clapping. Then some dancing broke out among the younger women in front of the stage. Very cool.
After about an hour of photos the women began to hurriedly putting their abayas back on. The groom had arrived! The women who didn’t put their abayas back on were his sisters. He walked in, equally slowly and guess what? I teared up, just like at our weddings. It was so sweet to see them sneaking looks at each other. When he got to the stage he joined her on the sofa and tenderly kissed her forehead. They shyly talked while the photographer took more pictures. Sorry, no pictures of them; I would have been kicked out, I think.
Then that was it. Khalous. Finished. Very abrubtly. I suppose the official ceremony had already taken place earlier? Or was to take place later?
I was so grateful to have been there. The whole thing was amazing from start to finish. Eye candy. I felt like a cultural voyeur but I also felt welcome. One of the women we met also works with Katie’s husband at the embassy and she said Ibadi weddings are better and that she’ll invite us to the next one in her family. I have a policy of accepting any invitations I receive. Never know when it will be something cool….
3 comments:
Oooh, that was a fun night! I especially loved it when the female family members came in banging drums and dancing what seemed almost bollywood style. The bit where they showered the groom with money was great too. So many fun little details. Thanks again for coming and looking completely out of place with me. ;)
Katie
Thanks Katie! I had completely forgotten the money showering!
As salaam alaykom Susan: I am a Muslim woman and I'll just add some details for you... The Islamic wedding ceremony has four parts pretty much. 1.) Is the engagement where prospective spouses find out of they are right for eachother by discussion and this can last up to two years [they are never to be alone together during this period]. 2.) the nikah which is where the bride gets to declare what she wants for a dowry and the groom pays it to her. 3.) Ideally, the marriage is consumated but depending on the age and schooling of the bride, not always. 4.) the walima, the party you went to, usually to celebrate the nikah and the consumation/success of the marriage. This is usually a meal though in Arab culture displaying a bride on a stage or throne and dancing have become features. Showering the groom with money is an old Persian custom, which is prevalent in alot of Shi'a practices.
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